Humility

As I was lying in bed tonight thinking about my day and unwinding, I suddenly felt my eyes well up with tears. I was struck with how overwhelmingly blessed I am and was immediately humbled. Nothing special happened today, it was a rather ordinary day actually. God just spoke to my heart. I’ve heard God sends a wakeup call when we need it, whether it’s a gentle whisper or a giant flashing sign—He’ll be sure we’re aware of His message. I heard it loud and clear. I am weak, but You are mighty. I can't do anything without Him; He is my strength. Alone, I'm incapable. This mighty God can take control of my life. This mighty God has overcome the world.

Suddenly all of these problems and anxieties in my life became trivial. There is something grand waiting for me. There is more to experience on Earth than the burdens I’m currently carrying. In fact, I don’t have to carry them any longer. All of these burdens can be lifted up. The weight can be released off of my shoulders and given to the hands of the Creator who can handle far more than I can. There are greater things to experience. I’m living under a dark cloud and seeing glimpses of the sun. Aren’t God’s people supposed to be in the light?

I took my niece for a walk on Monday, pulling her around in her radio flyer wagon. My elderly neighbor pulled up beside me and rolled down his window.

“How ya been sweetheart?”

“I’m doing well, how have you been?” I responded.

“Oh, hanging in there.”

His response seemed like an ordinary response from an elderly man with an ill wife. He’s getting by, struggling through it all, but he’s still alive so he won’t complain. I realized, if I was being honest with myself, I would have responded the same way he did. I’m getting by. I’m surviving. How many people are stuck in survival mode? How do we find ourselves comfortable just getting by? We’re practically robotic going through the daily motions without a sense of the bigger picture. We do whatever tasks are at hand that need accomplished. We check everything off of our to-do-list, but where is God in this? Is He simply present as a single prayer we check off of our to-do-list? Or maybe He didn’t even make it on the list. Have you ever said a prayer out of habit, without really having your heart present? Your spiritual life can sometimes sit on the back burner when you’re in survival mode.

What if I decided that today was the day that I stopped surviving? Today was the day that I didn’t just begin to live, but I began to thrive. Isn’t that what God created us for? ”For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11) God doesn’t want us to get by, he wants us to prosper. He has a future planned out for us, and it’s far better than anything we could ever imagine. In survival mode, are we clinging to hope that things will be different? Or have we just accepted that this is how life is and given up? We are called to place our hope in the Lord. Instead, we do what we have to do in survival mode to get by and cope. We place our hope outside of the Lord and we wonder why we aren’t satisfied.

I don’t know how we enter survival mode, but I do know this: we’re far too comfortable being uncomfortable. We have forgotten our purpose. We have forgotten to put God first, not second to our to-do-list. We’ve forgotten that in all things we should be glorifying him. We get caught up in a conversation and say something we shouldn't. We read a website we think is funny, regardless of the language. We’re becoming numb to sin. It’s become such a part of our daily lives that we are no longer appalled by it but instead accustomed to it. We’ve been surviving so long that we’ve lost perspective. We’ve lost our direction. We’ve lost our fire, our passion, and the reason that we get through each day. We’ve forgotten about the promises God has in store for us. We’ve forgotten to live each day for Him and His glory. We’ve forgotten the most important thing… maybe because we didn’t put it on our to-do-list.

What amazes me through all of this, is that God never leaves us. He is still there waiting with open arms for us to come back to Him. He covers us with grace, and in our humble state we fall to our knees. I’ve been there many times. My words aren’t enough, and suddenly I’m stumbling over the few words I managed to muster up. Nothing feels like enough to earn his forgiveness. That’s the beauty of grace, it’s given freely, and we don’t earn it. Yet still, I apologize, I thank God for all the things in my life. I beg Him to keep me on the right path, to keep me from going back to the mundane. Then as quickly as my words were flowing, I’m suddenly at a loss. I truly know what it’s like to be speechless before God. Words could never describe what I’m feeling, but that will never matter because He is reading my heart as I kneel before him. I am weak, but He is mighty. That’s all I can keep mumbling to myself. The Earth is in His hand, and I’m barely a spec on it. But He found me valuable enough to create me and for reasons I’ll never understand, showered me with blessings.

I was just served a whopping helping of humble pie. I am unworthy. I deserve nothing He has given me. Still He gives freely and continuously. I am so small in comparison, but I’m important to Him. Is anyone else eating humble pie right now? I don’t want to get by, go through the motions, or live a mediocre life. I want to feel the abundance of His love and walk with Him. I want to live a life that’s worthy of Him. Every action should be my feeble attempt to thank Him for what He has given me and what He has done for me and show Him my love. I don’t know about you, but I’m done surviving. I’m ready for my life to be bursting at the seams with passion. And I think a daily dose of humble pie will now be on my diet. That way I won’t lose perspective or forget the reminder that God gave me, "I am weak, but He is mighty."