Friendship

"Sometimes friends become enemies, but what's worse is when they become strangers." -Hayley Williams

There's no way around it, losing a friend hurts. There are so many stories of friendships gone wrong: growing apart, hurting one another, an argument, or different life choices putting a strain on your friendship.

It's always painful to lose someone we care about. Becoming enemies with someone seems far easier than growing so far from someone that you barely know one another. If they become an "enemy" then there was an obvious reason for the split. There is anger involved instead of the confusion of "where did we go wrong?"

I have had friendships grow apart, but it felt like a natural progression. For the first time, I lost a friend in a way that was painful because we fought to avoid growing apart. In hindsight, if we hadn't fought so hard to keep one another and just let each other drift away, it wouldn't have hurt so much. We tried to fight for our friendship. We tried to save what we had. The key word here is HAD. It was gone. We wanted to salvage a time in our lives that we couldn't bring back.

I don't know why I held so tightly to the hope that we could remain friends. In fact, our friendship was often more painful than beneficial. There were moments I'd get glimpses and reminders of why I loved her and why she was my best friend. Then it went back to me putting in all the effort, and not seeing any in return. There was always a phone call that wasn't returned, texts unanswered, and constantly putting forth emotion and baring my heart and never getting any friendship in return. It was one sided. It was draining. It left me insecure, it made me question every move I made and every word I spoke, it made me wonder if I was "too much," or if there was something wrong with me.

The moment came when we had the most bold and truthful confrontation of our entire friendship. I saw her in a way I never had before. All of those things that made me hold onto our friendship seemed empty and painted with artificiality. Those endearing gestures and quirks that kept softening my heart instead turned me away.

God brings friends into your life for a reason. He brings them to help you through something, to teach you something, or fulfill whatever space it is in your heart that needs filled. You never walk away from a friendship the same person you were when you entered it. Each friendship serves a purpose. We all go through different phases and times in our lives and God brings us friends to accompany those times. Just as those times pass, the friendships do as well.

As much as it hurts, holding onto a friendship is more painful than finally letting go. You can't force a friendship that has run its course. You are holding onto the person they were, not who they are right now. Everyone changes. In some friendships you change together and in others you change and grow separately. Don't hold on to what was, let go and focus on what is to come.